Return to Summary

Selected Comments

Question: What’s the best thing to do with a parent who is violent to their spouse?

Answered: Serious, thorough counseling

Obviously the spouse who resorts to violence has MAJOR issues and putting them in jail isn't going to help, because if they are released from jail they are just going to go back and do it again to some other person. No, these people have an issue that they need to work out with a professional that can help them.

To talk about and resolve their feelings.

I think it depends on the degree of violence. It's rather difficult to explain since everyone's situations are different.

It's best. Trust me.

Depends how severe it is.

You should never hit your husband or wife, and people need to realize how serious it can be.

If this doesn't work then jail but see if it can be solved this way first.

They need help fast, but jail is too extreme.

Unless it happens frequently, counseling should suffice.

If they're going to be violent then there has to be consequences and one of them would be counseling.

They need counseling.

If the parent cares about the child but is violent towards his/her wife/husband they should try to work things out.

This depends upon one's definition of violent. One parent being slapped by the other warrants no more than a serious talk. However, in serious situations of repeated violence, jail is undoubtedly necessary.

Violence is a premeditated action, and physical harm is abuse. Talking with a professional could help unravel the deep problems that lie within the family. Jail time would separate the family, and promises are good until they're broken, leaving everyone untrusting and more emotionally hurt than before.

If someone is violent to their spouse it must be dealt with, if it becomes too serious than they should be arrested.

If one of the parents is abusing the other, then it is really important to talk to someone.

Counseling may help or determine if they should separate.

The abuser obviously has anger or some other internal issues that can be worked out through counseling.

Because the parent will not stop if not helped.

Get their emotions out without violence.

I hate counselors but sometimes it can help to talk it out with a third person.

A parent should not be put in jail because that makes more stress on the other parent to take care of the child by themselves.

Abusive spouses need counseling.

Obviously it's something deeper than empty promises -- it's a definite problem that needs to be dealt with with counseling at the least, and jail time if neccessary.

Jail time could frustrate them but talking through it is not a strong enough resolution for someone that is intensely emotional enough to use violence.

That's just not right. Hitting your SPOUSE, the person who you made vows to, the person you love and care for and protect. Not cool. I couldn't imagine hitting someone out of hate, I'm not that kind of person. I don't see any justification in that. You're angry, and you feel you have to hit something, hit YOURSELF!!! That's what I do.

As if abuse can be stopped with a promise. They already broke a promise when they treated their spouse as unapart from them. Counseling is probably the best bet in this situation because it can bring prevention, and a clean cause. Jail time might just enrage the abuser, making the situation worse. Jail time however, might work out for the abuser. I think I'd try aggressive counseling as the first alternative.

Just because someone says they will be better doesn't make it true.

People who are violent usually have underlying problems and throwing them in jail won't solve that. It's a problem that must be worked out by the couple but counseling would do wonders to fix the situation and make sure it doesn't happen anymore.

The abusive parent should be given a chance to turn themselves around. If this does not work, then the law needs to get involved.

They need help quite obviously.

Both need counseling. And they need to get a divorce. It's not right to allow someone to have that done to them.

I think that violence should actually deserve jail time but I think that the parent should still try to stay involved with the family and try to work things out. Obviously, the adult has psychological issues that would need to be dealt with though.

Because they should not hit anyone like that.

Depending on the violence and how long it occured, the spouse should first spend time in counseling to discern whether or not they are capable of changing.

Well, going to jail is only going to make it worse... promises can and will be broken.

I don't know how to respond because my parents aren't violent towards each other.

There is no reason that a parent should hit their others.

Jail rarely helps to better a person, and as sinful humans we often break promises. I think that counseling that will better them as a person is the better way to go.

Counseling might work.

Promises are not often kept, and jail, while the violence is temporarily stopped doesn't do much to change how they act.

They need to get help for issues they may have.

Better to try something that could actually change the parent before punishing them.

Walks will do for just that moment and jail they will just hate you. Counsel will get deep within the arguing and try to get both parents to express themselves to each other.

Jail rarely helps people better themselves, and people naturally make promises that they don't intend to keep. So I believe that intense, serious counseling is the ultimate best option.

Counseling and healing from this violence is the best most healthy way to assure it does not happen again.

If a parent is abusing their spouse then they should get counseling.

Violence is something that should not be around kids, and so when spouses are aggressive, it really is not healthy for the kids to watch, and so therefore it should be taken very seriously.

The first answer choice was to have a long talk. It's hard for people to change, even if they want to, much less if they don't want to. It takes a lot of serious courses of action and counseling. But going to jail is not something a kid would want their parent to do...

People become violent from many factors, maybe they didn't choose to be like that. Therefore, counseling is quite important.

Really it depends on how violent the parent gets. Some people can consider yelling as violent. If the situation gets physically violent and abusive then there should be justice involved meaning jail time and counseling too. If it's just violent as in yelling and throwing stuff then counseling should definitely be involved. Sitting someone down and making them promise some stuff probably won't have much of an effect.

For the first offense, counseling will help. However, if it happens again, they may need to spend some time in jail.

I don't think just talking is enough to cause change. Counseling sounds like a good idea because it most likely involves some sort of medication to help the problem. Jail is a solution, but a drastic one.

There are often underlying reasons behind violence towards another, especially a spouse. Time in jail is unlikely to change a person, so help in understanding the reasons and helping them to control their temper would be more useful in the long run.

Jail will not do any good because it will increase violence.

Promises are too weak, jail is too harsh. Counseling is the best option on the first offense, jail is reserved only for the next offense.

I think that parent should have counseling because a movie I just recently watched called "Fireproof" showed no matter how horrible the husband was he was able to change and love his wife with God's help.

My dad used to throw things when he got really mad and he went to jail on Christmas morning for it and it was horrible. They need a little separation from the family for a while but not to jail. The kid gets confused and hates it and that makes it hard on everyone.

You could send them to jail and make promises but that won't do nothing. They obviously need help and by being violent is their way of unintentionally asking for it.

I'm not sure what I'd do. I've never been in this situation.

I think violence has to be addressed professionally, but jail may not always be the answer.

I don't think they should go to jail and talking won't solve anything. I believe you should let an experienced person help them sort this out.

I would say jail time but that would hurt the children dearly.

Because they aren't that bad.

You can make promises but they can be broken, and people make mistakes so I don't think they should be sent to jail automatically. Counseling can get to the cause and help a person change.

Depending on the severity of the occasion. if the spouse was put in urgent care or the ICU jail time is important. But counseling can help as well.

Everyone deserves a chance with counseling since violence such as hitting is a serious problem that can end in death.

This answer really depends on the circumstances, for the abusive parent may be acting on many different kinds of reasoning, but thorough counseling may be the best general way to resolve personal and family issues alike.

First counseling, then jail.

I don't feel that the parent should go to jail until it really gets out of hand and uncontrollable. I was on the fence between counseling and promises, but I feel that counseling would work better because if the promises aren't met, then there could be even more trouble, and possibly then they would go to jail. But, on the flip-side, promises could be good because then they get the idea that you want to listen to them and hear what they have to say.

Healthiest solution.

Broken promises and jail solve nothing, at least in counseling there is hope of change.

Jail has never helped better one's character, and promises are often not kept. I think that counseling should be the first thing turned to in such a situation.

Counseling will help the parent become more mature hopefully and it's a way of solving problems in the middle between being harsh and lenient.

Well, attempts should be made without jail at first because jails cost taxpayers money, if it continues, however, he/she should be sent to jail.

People can't be trusted. They need someone to talk to about their issues.

Most kids don't want one parent to go away to jail. It makes them think that they have bad parents.

They shouldn't spend time in jail unless there is also counseling in the jail.